Fun videos of Faith

4 Months Old

Okay, so I had really planned on updating this blog a lot more, but life has been a lot different than I expected it to be. For those of you who want to know all, I explain more down below. But for those who just want to see some pictures of Faith and hear how she's doing now, I'll give a little update. Today is her 4 month birthday. She has learned so much in the last two weeks, it's crazy. She went from not even being able to recognize there was something in her hand, to now reaching for what she wants, grabbing it, and sticking it in her mouth. Two weeks ago she hated tummy time-now we can't get her off her tummy. Every time we put her on her back, she rolls over. She is very excited about this and practices all the time. She even tries to do it in her carseat and bouncy chair. She loves to stand up & often tightens her abs to try to sit or stand up. She loves to put everything in her mouth, including her feet and toes. With the help of the Ferber Method she is now falling asleep on her own and taking naps longer than 30 minutes. Dale is really loving this time with her because she's so interactive. He loves to go in and get her when she wakes up because she's all cuddly. She's a lot of fun and it's amazing to see how much she discovers each day. She watches us eat-I can tell she wants to eat like us too :). And she is dying to put my water bottle straw in her mouth. It's fun to hear her laugh and make raspberries with her mouth. Anyways, lots of fun stuff now, and hopefully I'll be better at the updates since she's finally taking naps long enough for me to eat AND do something else :).

Here's the link to click so you can see a slideshow of the most recent photos. They are really out of order, but figured it wasn't worth sending them out later to have them in order :). In the ones where she looks bigger, she's older. :)

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=kuezn8r.bq64xufr&x=0&y=-r75wni&localeid=en_US

The last four months

Some of you have heard different parts of this or have seen all my posts on Facebook, but I figured it would be good to have it all in one place, even if it's just for myself. The last four months have been really hard for me. I knew they would be hard, and even harder than I could plan on. But I still was worked. I love Faith and really enjoy being her mom, but there have been a lot of things that have been very hard and have been a bit of a let down in regards to what I thought it would be. I thought I would get to really love cuddling and rocking and nursing my little girl. I thought I would LOVE the first months with her when she was so little. I love little babies and have always looked forward to all the time I would get with my own. But honestly, I haven't loved a lot of the time. By God's grace I have had really special moments with her-moments where we did get to cuddle, moments where nursing was sweet. But a lot of the time I could tell she was uncomfortable and hurting, but I couldn't do anything about it. I have always been able to soothe other people's kids, but I couldn't soothe her.

From the beginning Faith was one of those 0-60 kids. When she cried, it didn't start as a whimper and work its way up. She was full screams from day 1. She actually rolled on her side her first day of life because she was so mad at the nurse for making her cold and taking her temperature :). Every diaper change was full screams. It made us laugh after awhile, but it was nerve-racking as new parents. It was hard to see your little girl crying so hard she couldn't breathe-let alone to see it 8-12 times a day (or however many times we changed her). Then we had some trouble with breast-feeding, as many moms do. I won't go into all the details, but it was tough. And once things started getting better with that, she started crying during her feedings. She seemed gassy all the time and would always be grunting and clenching her abs. She was basically asleep (and grunting) or awake and crying. We basically had to hold her every time she was asleep. When grandmas were there, they would take shifts helping me through the night. But then it was time for them to go home. I ended up trying to figure out ways I could sleep sitting up holding Faith because we weren't comfortable with laying down with her. My back started hurting pretty bad and I was exhausted. I felt like babies are known for only eating, sleeping and pooping, and my daughter had trouble with all three. Then, after 4 weeks, we heard about a chiropractor that works with colicky babies. He doesn't adjust them, but uses massage to strengthen a muscle between the small & large intestines. From the first day I took Faith to him, she was already making progress. She slept for the longest she ever had, and not in my arms. From then on she was able to sleep at night in her carseat, but still had trouble during the day. It was still AMAZING compared to holding her all night. The nursing seemed to get better. She would still cry sometimes, but not every time. The treatment the chiro does usually takes 2 weeks, as long as you maintain a strict diet. I was VERY strict with my diet, but something still bothered her. What normally takes two weeks, took over 5 weeks for Faith. This time was way better than before, though. I noticed major improvements. She was going 8 hours between feedings and sleeping even more than that. I was getting rest, so whatever crying she did was much easier to manage-and she did a lot less crying.

Then we went to California where she did great. When we got back, she stopped sleeping through the night and started crying at every feeding. This was so exhausting. Not only was I more tired from her waking up multiple times at night, but it was a fight every single time I nursed- 8-10 times a day, anywhere from 15-60minutes per feeding. It was both physically and emotionally exhausting. They thought maybe my milk supply was too low for her and she was gaining just the bare mininmum of what you would want for weight. So then I started a process to build my supply. I would feed her, and I was supposed to try and get her to stay on each side for 20-30 minutes (which was not easy and usually couldn't be done). They gave me this little tube I could slide in as she was nursing and use a syringe to reward her with milk so she'd keep sucking. Oh was that a nightmare. I didn't have enough hands to do it. Dale would help the times he was home, but it was so hard to get her to stay on long enough to get the tube in. Then sometimes she would figure out it was the tube that had the milk, so she would un-latch and try to just get the tube. She is just too clever :). Then after that, I was supposed to put her down (remember, she had to be held during the day) so I could pump for 15 minutes after each feeding. That was a very long week. I am so grateful for the friends who helped out by coming over and holding Faith so I could pump. One thing that was a blessing, though, was that I HAD to put Faith down to pump when I was alone. It showed me that she could handle it. She wasn't sleeping, but she would just talk to me in her bouncy chair. It was a good learning experience.

After that, she started doing better with nursing, but then sleeping became more difficult. I went back to the chiropractor and he found that the muscle still needed a little strengthening. After a couple days of that her sleeping improved. At that point I was even able to put her down in her carseat for naps. I started feeling like things were getting a little better and under control. I noticed she was starting to get a lot more active, so I was worried about her sleeping in the carseat too much longer. I figured it was time to get her into the crib so we could then transition her to being unswaddled (before she could roll over). At this time nursing became difficult again. She was still having trouble moving her bowels, and I thought maybe that was why she was having trouble with nursing. One time she grunted for over 60 hours, unable to get anything out, poor thing. So the doc had me stop eating dairy (I had already stopped eating gassy stuff-onions, garlic, green veggies, chocolate, caffeine, soda). Anyways, we started having her sleep in the crib, still swaddled. We would get her in a deep sleep, but as soon as we put her down she would startle. That day, she hardly slept. That night she did a little better. The second day she startled a lot less and actually slept some during the day. But it took a lot of work to get her there. We had to bounce, rock, lean over the crib and hold in her pacifier while patting her butt. Needless to say, it was killing my back. That, combined with the many wrestling matches I had during the day to feed Faith made me strain the muscles in my back. I leaned over at church one night to grab Faith's blanket and ended up to where I could barely move. I could hardly take steps or move my upper body. So for the next few nights, my mom and Dale had to get up with Faith. I couldn't even hold her; all I could do was feed her, and even that was tough. The first night she did so well-only got up once to eat. But then we were worried about her bowels, so we called the doc for help. They told us to give her 1 tsp dark caro syrup (corn syrup, aka sugar) in 2 ounces of milk. The next two nighst, she hardly slept. We went in at one point and her head was rapidly moving side to side and her eyes were opening and closing. At first I thought she was having a seizure. My mom picked her up and she wasn't stiff, so we knew it was okay, but we wondered why the heck she did that. We called the doc the next day, and the nurse said that colicky babies move a lot in their sleep. We were upset that they just wrote it off because she had never done it before. The next night she was spastic again, so we finaly realized that the sugar was making her crazy. The third night, with no sugar, she slept great. By then my back was feeling a lot better, so I could help again.

The next day, she rolled over. CRAP was my first thought. I knew I should be excited that she rolled over, but I was concerned about her suffocating because her arms were swaddled. At least she and I got one good night sleep before another transition. So that night we tried letting one arm out. That transition never went well. It felt like we were on a ball bouncing all day long. She would startle so much and it took so much work to get her to sleep. Then she would only sleep a half hour. Two different nights in a row she exhausted all three of us (dale, me & my mom) just trying to get her to sleep. Where she used to fall asleep nursing, and then we'd just put her down, now she would wake up even after nursing. This continued throughout the night. She woke up multiple times and required bouncing/rocking to sleep every time. I think she and I only got two-three hours sleep two nights in a row. That's when I knew something had to change. Every thing we tried wasn't working. It was as though she knew we were going to put her down, so she kept being on guard for it. We decided we had to let her learn to soothe herself because she would wake up a little and require the whole process again. So Sunday night we started the Ferber method. She was going to be unswaddled, in her crib, with no pacifier. It was tough that night, but she fell asleep sooner and got more sleep than the two nights before. Then, the next day, she took a 2 1/2 hour nap for the first time, and didn't really cry when I put her down. That afternoon I put her down for another nap, and she slept over an hour and didn't really cry. Nursing that day went way better as well. This week has been so much better. Although she still cries at times, she falls asleep so much faster and stays asleep way longer. She is back to waking up only for eating, and after 7-10 hours of sleep. And our backs are so much better off not bouncing on the ball. It's amazing the turnaround this week. Although some feedings are still hard, we are having more good ones. Although some naps are still short, she has consistently taken at least one nap over 2 hours each day. I have the energy for her now during the day. And, her bowels are moving without much strain. I don't know if its the dairy, the sleep, or just that 16 weeks was her magic number, but I'm happy for her that it's not so tough anymore (at least this week). I know tomorrow might bring something else that's difficult, but I am just feeling blessed for today. She really is a sweety. And she seems so eager to get to do everything. It's fun to watch how hard she thinks and works to do something new. Man, if we all just had a hint of her determination, we'd go so far.

Dale has been so supportive through all of this. He has definitely had to deal with so much; I'm sure it's not easy to work all day and come home to a crying baby (and many times crying wife). He's made so many meals and gotten up with Faith when I just couldn't anymore. He's always reassuring me that I'm a good mom & giving me the freedom to make the decisions that I feel are best. He's such a great dad and loving husband. I wish you all could see him with her on a daily basis. And my mom has been such a great help to us. She has been there for a lot of the hard stuff, always willing to do whatever we need. She really has been a blessing.

Thanks for reading, and thanks to all of you who have been praying for us over the last four months. Hopefully I will be able to share with you more now that things here have calmed down a bit. Love you all!
Ashley